Surrey Salvation Army Supports Mothers Through Pink Days

"Together we can move mountains, one hill at a time." That's the motto of Pink Days, a new program at The Salvation Army in Surrey, B.C. Through Pink Days, the Army supports women of all ages and stages, with a particular focus on mothers and newcomers who may not have established networks in their new home. 

Major Diane Cross, corps officer at Surrey Ministries, gives us an overview of the program and why it fills an important need in their local context. And Xiomara shares her personal experience with Pink Days, and how the group has become a family to her. 

Surrey Ministries: Pink Days

Transcript

Kristin Ostensen

This is the Salvationist podcast. I’m Kristin Ostensen. In a few days, we will celebrate Mother’s Day, a wonderful opportunity to acknowledge and thank our moms and all the mother figures in our lives who bless us with their wisdom, grace and love. Being a mom and looking after young ones is always not the easiest task. (Ask me how I know.) But it’s not just parents who need support. All women do, and especially newcomers who may not have established networks in their new home. In Surrey, B.C., a large and diverse suburb of Vancouver, The Salvation Army is providing this crucial support through a program called Pink Days. Major Diane Cross, corps officer at Surrey Ministries, gives us an overview of the program and why it fills an important need in their local context. And Xiomara shares her personal experience with Pink Days, and how the group has become a family to her.

Hi Major Diane, and welcome to the Salvationist podcast.

Diane Cross

Thank you. It's great to be here this morning. 

Kristin Ostensen

Well, it's lovely to have you. And of course, we're here today to talk about Pink Days. So, can you give me an overview of the program, what you do, and what it's all about? 

Diane Cross  

Yes, that's great. I'm very excited to share with you what we're doing at the Pink Days. This came out of a, originally came from an innovation grant. And so, back when The Salvation Army was giving out these grants, I wrote a proposal saying, you know, feminine products are very expensive, and a lot of our clients can't necessarily afford quality products. And so I wrote this proposal saying, you know, this is a stepping stone for us, and we can offer these quality feminine products and be able to then have a conversation, which then opened up the door to the group. So, at the same time as this innovation grant was being offered, we were just coming out of COVID. So, as I was talking with the women, they were going, Oh, we're so isolated. We've been in our homes for so long—we don't know how to get out into the community. And so from that came the Pink Days group. And so now we have a—I don't know—probably a roster of about 19 women that come out regularly. They average, we average, attendance is around 12, which is a great size of group because people are more comfortable talking in a smaller group, and so we just talk about life issues. You know, we are following along Brené Brown, her book called The Gifts of Imperfection. And so we're working through her chapters on, you know, love—what it means to be loved. How do we have joy in our life? Have we missed the opportunity for joy? A lot about shame. And then we do exciting things. We've gone to a museum. We went as a group, we borrowed one of the Salvation Army vans, and we went to the Fort Langley Museum, and we went out as a group. And the women were so excited. They were like, packing their backpacks as if their kids’ school bags. They're packing their own bags, and they're like, getting ready for their field trip. It was just—it was an amazing experience, to take these women out a field trip. Yeah, it was good. So, from a very simple idea through innovation grant, just led to this group of women coming together just to talk about life.

Kristin Ostensen

That's wonderful. And can you talk a little about your context in Surrey and what kind of needs you're seeing in the community. Of course, you mentioned the expense around, you know, feminine hygiene products. But what are some of the other contextual factors that make this such a key program for you?

Diane Cross

So, Surrey’s very unique. We have a huge immigration population that is growing, and it continues to grow. So, our clients are so diverse. They're, you know, women who are from many cultural, different backgrounds. Our homelessness is an issue. Unfortunately, addictions is another big issue that we have in Surrey. It's very expensive to live in Surrey, but the climate for a lot of immigration is more suitable than some places that have winter. So a lot of our families come, and when they land, they land in communities that have severe winters, and so when they go through their first winter, they're not comfortable. They find they're not coping well, and they migrate to the warmer, and Surrey just happens to be that area that is warmer. And we're growing exponentially. Surrey is on track to be the largest city, within the next five years in British Columbia. We're going to overtake Vancouver, and by 2030, they project that our population will be actually higher than Vancouver. So right now, we're at about a population of 682,000, and Vancouver is about 700,000. So within five years, we’ll be over the 700,000 population. So we're just growing. Our land mass is huge, towers going up all over Surrey. So, yeah, we're in a huge boom, growth boom, and it's going to continue.

Kristin Ostensen

Mm hmm. Well, and then that means all the more opportunities for ministry, right?

Diane Cross

Mm hmm, yeah, yeah, it is.

Kristin Ostensen

And in terms of this group specifically, what's kind of the age range? What kind of stage of life are people at who are coming to Pink Days? 

Diane Cross

We range from about, our youngest age is about 26, and our highest age range is in the 50s. And so, some are single, some are married, some are divorced. Education levels are all different. There is not one demographic, particularly. It's just a very wide range of demographics.

Kristin Ostensen

That's really neat. And how often does the group actually meet?

Diane Cross

We meet every two weeks. So every Wednesday, at 10 o'clock, we come and we have coffee together. And, you know, depending on how busy the morning is and how many kids they got to get off to school, we have coffee from 10 to about 10:15, just so people have an opportunity to just come in and chat and just like, “Ah, I need to catch my breath for a minute.”

Kristin Ostensen

For sure. And what has been the response so far from the women who have participated? Can you share some stories with us?

Diane Cross

Yeah, the women are really, really fantastic, actually. And like I said, their background is so diverse. We've had Ukraine refugees come, and she shared with us quite openly how, you know, this group was transforming for her, because at that time, she had a six-month-old baby. She was coming with the baby. They were learning language, and she, at the beginning, “Oh, sorry, I don't know how to say this.” And the women are like, “No, it's OK. You're doing great. Continue talking—we're here to support you. Tell us your story, talk, take your time.” And so she just, you know, through the months we just, we get to learn more about her story and the challenges that she's had when leaving, one, leaving Ukraine, to coming into Canada, and how that transition has been with her. So then someone, another lady came to our group, a lovely lady, and she was really struggling, but now she's got a full-time job. And so we were able to, as a group, we walked through that with her, you know. We were like, “How are you doing? How's it going? How's the family?” You know, just supporting and uplifting her. And then one day she just texted me out of the blue, said, “Diane, I got a job!” And it was like, I was so excited. I was so—it was like, you know, sending my kid off the school or something. That moment was like, this is so exciting that, you know, you can share that with the group, and then we share the group, and it went from there. But yeah, it was amazing when she told us she got this job. And, you know, because I know she was nervous, I know she was scared, and she came back to the group to say, you know, “I did it. I've done it. I've accomplished it. I've made that leap,” which I don't think, before the group, she was ready to make that leap.

Kristin Ostensen

That's amazing, having that support, because, you know, as you say, especially coming out of COVID, so many people were feeling lonely and isolated, and loneliness is such a big problem right now in our society.

Diane Cross

Yes, it's so true. Yeah, you know, like I said, some of the moms, they're tired—they come in, they're tired. And they said, you know, “I didn't know if I wanted to come today.” They say it, but they know after they leave, they're on that high. They're like, “Oh, I actually took an hour and a half to spend for myself. You know, my kids are at school. They're taken care of. The laundry is going to wait. It doesn't matter. I'm coming here. I'm just going to have an hour and a half every two weeks, just for me.” And that's become a thing.

Kristin Ostensen

Yeah, for sure, everybody needs that, truly.

Diane Cross

Yeah, I just think, though, as women, we don't take that, you know. We put on this superhero cape: “I am the perfect mother. I'm going to have the perfect home.” And we dig ourselves into that, and we go through these motions. And so, I'm very happy that these women are taking the time just to regroup and focus a little bit on themselves.

Kristin Ostensen

The Pink Days group has been an oasis of support for Xiomara, a mother of two who is originally from Nicaragua.

Xiomara

I was born in Nicaragua. I've been in Canada for quite some time now. I was married, and I have two children—well, grown-up children. One of them is 27—daughter—and a son who's 20 years old. 

Kristin Ostensen 

Mm, hmm, wonderful. And how did you get connected to the Pink Days program?

Xiomara

I got connected to, they distribute some food here for people in need. And it was one of those days that I thought, You know what? I need some help here. I need some groceries. I showed up. They were actually really nice, because I thought you needed to be signed up for the distribution, but I didn't. So I just said, I'm not a member. And the lady was really nice about it. She goes, “It's OK, just wait,” and give me a box of food. And after that, when I turn around, I saw a sign by the window promoting Pink Days group, and I called the number, and I showed up, and that was it. I've been coming for over a year now.

Kristin Ostensen  

Oh, that's wonderful. So what have you appreciated most about being involved with the group? Obviously, you've been coming back for a year, so something about it has kept you coming.

Xiomara  

The group of women, they're very pleasant, and I find that some of us might have some things in common. You know, we are immigrants, coming from different places. Everybody has kind of different stories, but somehow kind of similar, and it's great that we can talk about personal matters. It's almost like going to a counseling session, but it's, we make it fun. And, yeah.

Kristin Ostensen

Yeah, no, it sounds like you've gotten a lot of support there. 

Xiomara  

Yes.

Kristin Ostensen

Yeah. And Major Diane was mentioning, too, that you've been doing a book study lately. Is that something you've enjoyed?

Xiomara 

I love it. It's a lot of self reflecting and makes you think, makes you appreciate things more.

Kristin Ostensen

And looking back on the last year, are there any specific moments or memories that stand out to you from your experience with the group?

Xiomara

Yes, we have gone on a field trip, actually, that was really nice way to connect. We have, you know, had a little picnic by the beach, and it ended up being a different group. It just, you know, getting to know each other, being more comfortable.

Kristin Ostensen

No, that makes sense. Do you find sometimes it's a bit hard making friends in the city?

Xiomara

Yes, because you're so caught up in your own lifestyle that you think you're the only one who has gone through things. And then you come to a group like this, and then you go, “Oh, I'm not alone.” And, yeah, that's why I look forward to come too because this, you know, I see them as a friend now. We're like one small family and getting to know each other every day, you know. It's quite nice. 

Kristin Ostensen

Yeah, for sure. And why do you think Pink Days is an important program to have, for women especially, and for mothers, too?

Xiomara

I think it's important, because, like I say, I do look forward to come. Part of it, you know, meeting the other ladies, seeing their smiles, you know, saying, “Well, you know, it's not so bad, you know, I have other people there that they can be there for me.” And if you have a matter that is really on the back of your mind, it’s a safe place to talk about it and get some support. And I feel safe enough that I know it’s very confidential. So and, you know, if you're meaning to, wanting to meet a new friend, or a new group of ladies, and you don't know where to start, I think this is the right place to do it.

Kristin Ostensen  

For Major Diane, Pink Days is a beautiful example of how we can walk alongside one another and face the mountains of life together, while growing in faith. The concept is simple, but the impact is huge.

And just thinking about the broader context of your church itself, how would you say this program has had a broader impact on the church? 

Diane Cross 

Every week, I hand out, like notes from the session—high level notes. On these notes, they're always referenced back to Scripture. And for some of these women, this is the first time they are being introduced to what it means to have a faith journey. So it's interesting. It is an interesting journey. And in our previous appointments, we've always had interactions with people who understood Christianity, understood what it meant going to church. And so, with the diverse group that we have here, it's been a learning experience for me. How do I introduce Jesus to these women who really just have no basis, they have no foundation, they're starting at ground zero? And so, you know, it's slow and steady. So we invite them to big events. So, Christmas was a big event, so we had a big Christmas event for these women. Obviously, everybody knows what Christmas is, but, you know, we sing Christmas carols—there's so much beauty in singing Christmas carols and the traditions that are found in them. The love and stories about our Christian faith and these carols are simply beautiful. And so, we get to share that with them. Like I said, it's a slow growing process, but it's impactful.

Kristin Ostensen  

Yeah, absolutely. And I noticed the motto for the group is “together, we can move mountains, one hill at a time.” Why did you choose this motto? What meaning does it have for you?

Diane Cross  

That came out of, just the thought that—back to the mother issues. You know, we have this cape. We do this all, and sometimes we just feel like we have unsurmountable mountains in front of us, you know. Our child has problems in school, or if they're sick, or if immigration records aren’t going—we have these mountains that just stand in front of us, but together in this group, we can move those mountains. And it just takes, you know—it's affirming one another. It's loving one another on this journey. It's sharing our experiences. If I've had this problem with my child, then perhaps this parent over here can share what's worked for them. Or say, “Oh, this doctor's taking patients.” That was a big conversation in our group. “This doctor is really good. They speak this language.” And so that's how it is. These mountains are—we can get over these mountains, but it's one hill at a time, and we're on that journey to overcome those hills. That's kind of where that motto came from. 

Kristin Ostensen

That's a great motto and a great model for how we can do life together. So as you're looking forward, what's next for pink days, how do you see this program growing and evolving and developing into the future?

Diane Cross

Yeah, you know, that is one area that I do a lot of thinking around, because I want to keep the intimacy of the group, and I want these women to feel comfortable in the group. And there's going to be a point when there's too many people, where, you know, if we're at 45 people, let's say, then the women might not have the same opportunity to share and to be together. So I feel like the next logical step is a second Pink ladies group, because I really want to keep the integrity of this group. These women are confident within one another. They embrace the newcomers that come in. But, like I said, we're at about 19 right now, and that's probably where we're going to need to cap it out. And then the exciting part is we could start another group, and I get to share life with another group of women. Yeah, so that's kind of where I think that we're going.

Kristin Ostensen  

Yeah. Well, thank you so much for taking time to chat with me and telling us all about this program. And it's been really great to learn about, and I think maybe even a model for other ministries.

Diane Cross

Yeah, that thanks for inviting us on. This group of women are actually quite lovely, and it's one of the highlights of my week, when I get to spend time with these ladies, and their ability to be so honest in their sharing, it is quite a gift for me.

Kristin Ostensen  

Thanks for joining us for another episode of the Salvationist podcast. For more episodes, visit Salvationist.ca/podcast.